"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
