all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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