You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
