Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he fucked my hip out of place.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
