The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
