hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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