im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
