Your tits are I can't wait for
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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