i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
