so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
