What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
