You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
