Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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