the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
