It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
