He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
