Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
