no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
