Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
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