where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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