just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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