I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize