You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There's a naked man in my car right now.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
