dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
