we're blogging at a bar
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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