My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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