You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
