Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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