so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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