He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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