Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
