Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
