Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
