We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
