WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
