yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
