i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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