the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
