elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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