Why does Corona taste like a burp?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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