His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize