I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
