I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
