I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she peed on how many people?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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