Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is Oprah even human
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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