Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
