I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
