That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
worst night to have a conscience
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
