she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
