jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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