I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
