Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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