Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
