that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
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