I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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