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even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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