Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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